Stop Waiting for the Right Time (It’s Not Coming)

There is a list you carry in your head. You probably know the one.

When the kids are more settled. When work calms down. When I feel more ready. When I know what I actually want. When things stop being so complicated — then I'll start.

I've sat with a lot of women over the years who were waiting for the right time to stop waiting for the right time. That sentence sounds ridiculous, but it is also completely real. Because the waiting feels productive. It feels responsible. It feels like the mature thing to do.

But here's what the waiting actually is: a story we tell ourselves so we don't have to feel the fear of beginning.

This week's post comes with a video too — because some things are easier to say out loud.

Why Waiting for the Right Time Keeps You Stuck

I want you to think back — really think — to a decision you made when the conditions were finally “right.” The timing was good, the circumstances lined up, and off you went.

Now think about what led up to it. Wasn't there a version of you, six months or a year earlier, who already knew? Who had already felt the pull? Who had already started quietly planning, even if she hadn't admitted it yet?

The right time rarely arrives. Most of the time, we just finally get tired of waiting for it.

Research on decision-making backs this up: when we postpone action waiting for perfect conditions, we're not being strategic — we're managing anxiety. The delay feels like wisdom. It isn't always.

There's a reason I wrote about this in Permission to Start Over. The fear doesn't go away when you finally decide to begin. It just moves to the passenger seat. You're still the one driving.

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If you're somewhere in the middle of all this — not sure what you're even waiting for, just that it hasn't felt like the right time yet — our free reflection Where Are You In Your Becoming? was made for exactly this moment. Eight questions, two minutes, no wrong answers. It'll name where you are and point you toward what might actually help.

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What Starting Before You're Ready Actually Looks Like

It doesn't look like a leap. That's the part nobody tells you.

It looks like enrolling in the class before you feel smart enough. Sending the email before you feel qualified. Showing up to the first meeting before you have anything figured out. Making one small move in the general direction of the thing you want, while still being thoroughly unsure.

It looks imperfect and uncomfortable and sometimes faintly ridiculous. It looks like doing it anyway.

I went back to school at 50. Not because the timing was good. It wasn't. But I'd been waiting for the right time long enough to know it wasn't planning to show up on its own.

The women I've watched do hard things — starting over after divorce, launching something new after decades in a career that stopped fitting, stepping into a next chapter they couldn't fully see yet — they didn't wait until the fear was gone. They built something like self-trust by doing the next thing before they were certain it would work.

What You're Really Waiting For

Permission.

Not the right conditions. Not more certainty. Not a clearer sign. Permission.

Permission to be imperfect at it. Permission to not have all the answers. Permission to be in the messy, awkward beginning of something without having to know how it ends.

So consider this yours.

You don't have to have it figured out to start. You don't have to feel ready. You don't have to know exactly where it leads. You just have to be willing to stop waiting long enough to take one real step.

The right time? It's already here. It just doesn't feel the way you thought it would.

If you want to take that first step alongside women who are doing the exact same thing — messy, uncertain, and moving anyway — come find us in The Thrive Hive. We are very good at showing up before we feel ready and very bad at waiting for perfect. ☕💚

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is it so hard to stop waiting for the right time?

Because waiting feels responsible, not avoidant. We're wired to reduce uncertainty before acting — but for big life decisions, the uncertainty doesn't go away before we start. It goes away as we move. The waiting loop feels like preparation; often it's just fear with better posture.

What if I start and it doesn't work out?

Then you'll have information you didn't have before. You'll know something real about yourself and the direction you were heading — and you'll be closer to the right path than if you'd kept waiting. Starting imperfectly is not failing. It's how most real things begin.

How do I know if I'm waiting for good reasons or just stalling?

Ask yourself: what specifically needs to be true before I can begin? If you can name something concrete — a skill to learn, a resource to gather — that's planning. If the answer keeps shifting, or stays vague, that's usually fear. The distinction matters.

What's one small thing I can do today instead of waiting?

Name the thing you're waiting to start. Write it down. Then write down one action — just one — that would move you six inches in its direction. Not a plan. Not a commitment. Just a step. Take it before the end of the week.